The NoFun Spin Zone

Why so sad, Harry Potter? Is it because you just found out you are the last Horcrux? Or maybe because you just took the WORST SPIN CLASS ON EARTH?!???!!!

I joined a new gym last night, so this morning I went over for the first time and took a spin class. I used to go to this really awesome fancy gym, but lately I’ve had to face facts and accept that maybe my money could be better spent somewhere else, like at the supermarket or Forever 21.

It was the absolute worst. Everything about it is the tiniest bit of a downgrade, and all those downgrades add up to one giant craptacular.

As with most gyms, there are towels for spin class. At my old gym they were already on the bikes when you got there, but at the new one you actually had to pick it up yourself off of a shelf. This was really annoying for me to do myself, since Intern Brian has left to go “start” his “fall semester” at “school." As for the towel itself, it was the roughest of towels. It felt like rubbing my face with shark teeth.

You know how they say “it’s like riding a bike,” because you can never forget how to ride a bike? That doesn’t apply to my spin teacher, who either has amnesia or has never been on a bicycle. I know that I could have just made the resistance extra hard to make up for the fact that our teacher wasn’t really pushing us, but that is not really the focus of this post. I also could have ridden a real bike outside or not have eaten all those cookies last night while lying in my bed and weeping softly, but life is too short for all of these hypothetical situations.

Then I went to shower, and I discovered another idiotic thing about their shark towels—they are awkwardly small. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

At my old gym, there was so much I took for granted. The china had never been used. The sheets had never been slept on. Wait, sorry, that’s Titanic. But on the real, at my old gym the locker rooms had everything from razors to q-tips (note: do NOT mix those up.) The new gym has only two hair driers, and I’m pretty sure the same stuff comes out of the shampoo and mouth wash dispensers.

My roommates were not that sympathetic. “I am not that sympathetic,” Lindsey said. “Also,” Jodie added, “Stop being a baby.” Those are all fair statements. And really, the point is to train hard—you can do that anywhere, which I know from movies about prison. And in prison, they don’t even have towels, so I think we can all learn something from them (mainly that if you get arrested, try to bring your own towel.)

Update

I tried to make Intern Brian go to spinning for me, but he refused. Who does he think he is?

This is....boring

Just got back from the Spartan Race. The hardest thing about it was figuring out how my feet got dirty, because I was wearing shoes and socks. The most fun thing was all the free muscle milk.

That's about all the energy I want to spend on this topic. Chat you guys when I have something interesting to say.

Spin Cycle

Listen here, baby Barack Obama, you may be adorable and about to grow up to be pretty awesome, but in spinning class you need to PUSH YOURSELF!!!!!!!

Wake up and alert the news flash. Coach Sean is back in town, so you know what that means: PAIN. If we are going to work out soon, I'm going to need to make him think I've been training a LOT harder than I really have been. (Also, if I'm going to run seven miles up a mountain at like 9 jillion feet above sea level, I'm going to have to ACTUALLY be working out a lot harder than I have been.) Sean's gonna be all like "Why are you so slow? Why are you complaining? And are you....crying?" And I'm gonna be all "What? No...I just have protein powder in my eye!!!!" And I don't need any of that.

Today I had a really good run, because I'm trying to focus on pushing myself and using my time more efficiently. I ran 4.5 miles on the track. The non-cement surface didn't cause shooting pains in my legs, which is always a plus, and by running faster than usual, I didn't get bored and then have to distract myself by plotting the demise of all the people who have wronged me in life. That's what my boss would call a win-win, I think.

Tomorrow I'm going to go to spin class before work. Speaking of spinning, here's a great link my dad, who is awesome and loves riding his bike, emailed me: photos of celebrities riding bikes! Spinning is a great way to train for Tough Mudder, because it works your legs and helps build your endurance.

Brad Pitt increases resistance by pulling a child around.

Obama again, cruising around, probably training for Tough Mudder Mid-Atlantic. See how history comes full circle?

Two quick training ideas

Hey everyone--I'm running out the door to the Wesleyan-Williams-Amherst happy hour (I mean... going straight home to answer more customer service emails?) but I just wanted to share two great training ideas I've used this week.

A. Hill workout on a treadmill--I compiled this together from a few different running websites for those days when you can't make it to a real hill. For me that day was today, and this was challenging but also a lot of fun. I like interval training, especially on a treadmill, because it keeps me from getting bored. And we all know plain running can be really boring. FACT.

2 minutes: run at incline 1

2 minutes: run at incline 2

2 minutes: run at incline 1

2 minutes: run at incline 3

And so on, going up as high as you can.

Another thing you can do is intervals based on distance, not time. For example, intervals at increasing incline for 200 meters (about .12 miles), taking a break in between.

1. Incline 5 (for example) for 200 meters

2. Incline 1 for 200 meters

3. Incline 6 for 200 meters

4. Incline 1 for 200 meters

And so on, going up as high as you can.

Lastly, try running at an incline for 30 seconds, then back to the flat for 2 minutes. Next, do an incline push for 60 seconds, and then take a 2 minute flat run. Then a 90 second push with a 2 minute flat run. When the intervals are shorter, it's a good opportunity to make the inclines really challenging.

You can mix and match depending on what you have time for and what is more fun for you. I think it matters less which one you do and more that you do something you enjoy and will work your hardest at. I did the first one for 16 minutes, then I spent about 10 minutes doing the second, then I went back to the first for another 10 but only alternating between incline 5 and 6.

B. "21s"

21s are great, because you can use them for nearly any exercise. Instead of doing the complete movement, you do 7 reps of the first "half" of it, then seven reps of the second "half," and lastly seven reps of the whole thing. So for example, if you were doing regular bicep curls, you would do seven reps where you only go from the bottom to the midpoint. Then seven times from the midpoint to the top of the movement. Finally you would do seven complete curls. Fun for everyone!

A few updates

1. I'm back in the city and back on the training grind. I did my five mile loop on Saturday when I got home from the airport. I especially like the part of this run that's on the path by the West Side Highway, because it's by the water. On 34th street there is a hill--it's not as tough as the hill loop in Central Park, but it's still good practice.

The other day Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake were spotted riding their bikes there! I wasn't the one who spotted them. I was in Texas. But they were spotted, and that is the important thing.

Loop of fun

2. We have an intern in the office. So far I have asked him to take out the trash, and then I threw my coat on his desk. I know it's summer, but he's got to learn how to hang things. Which reminds me to tell him to build us a closet so we can hang things.